Darling, Dear, Honey, Sweetie, Darlin…

I never use generic/old-fashioned terms of endearment when talking to ladies I don’t know….actually I really only use them when talking to my neices.  Kids.

However, when a lady calls me ‘honey’ or ‘darling’—doing the cheesy polite/flirtatious thing instead of just calling me by name—it really makes me feel good.  Even though I know they probably just don’t remember my name at the time, or they are the type to be generally flirtatious…those pet names still fall fondly upon my ears.

So I should probably try incorporating those words into my vocabulary when talking to strangers & acquaintances.  Will I feel cheesy?  YES.  Will I try it enough to see if I get over myself and do it because a certain percentage of the ladies I say it to will have the same pleasant reaction I do?  Yes, I think so

My maternal grandpa was a ladies man, very popular with men and women alike.  Always on cue with a good joke (often lewd or sexual), and always a gentleman when it really counted.  He always called women pet names like “Sweetie”.  I can just think of him and how he was not creepy or cheesy, he was friendly and projected comfort and warmth with those silly names.  I can do the same.

Forgotten Good Vibes Return when I need them

Yesterday I was feeling pretty dreadful despite an otherwise good day.  I wrote down my thoughts about lonliness and my bleak outlook on the future…which is rare.  I usually just distract myself. Then BAM! in the evening I ran into my neighbor who profusely thanked me and reminded me of a situation a few weeks ago I totally forgot about. 

It was 11 or so at night and she was walking the 2 blocks from her house to the corner store and a group of 5 or 6 young men—some with dogs, all with big backpacks, looking like they lived on the streets—were walking down the side-street and it was clear they were slowing down to encounter her.  I was 1/2 block away walking towards the situation and recall being a bit nervous myself as I started crossing the street to her side, aiming to arrive at the side-street the same time she and the gang of dudes.  As she described it: she was scared because they clearly wanted to confront her, then I arrived out of the dark, said one thing, the guys put their heads down and continued on their way and as she and I passed each other on the sidewalk, I gave her a look that said something so strong and calming yet we spoke nothing to each other.

I did arrive at the intersection as I was still crossing the street and they had just said something lewd to her and I heard her response: “i’m old enough to be your grandma, I am not a ‘girl’…” she said.  As I entered the area illuminated by the corner streetlight, I said firmly but plainly “Hey Neighbor” and some of the guys looked away or down, and one in the rear looked at me but I didn’t slow down or stop and neither did she.  The guys continued on their way at the same time she and I passed each other, and I do remember giving her a calming, confident look. 

The most surprising and enduring part of the ordeal to me: last night, as she told me the story from her perspective, the look I gave her as we passed was one of the most important details.  She said something about how she was amazed at how powerful the look was that I gave her, and that it said so much but was so fleeting that she almost thought the whole thing was a dream.

Just when I was feeling so low, I found out this lady thinks I’m a hero and it truly made my day.

Practice progress

This week I was able to get in a 1+ hour practice twice: on Tuesday and yesterday.  Yesterday was especially nice because I went up to the University and was all by myself in the practice room area.  The pianos were pretty dilapidated, but they’re free and private and I jammed the shit out of some loud songs I don’t usually let loose on.

If getting in shape and running/jogging is a ‘practice’, that practice is going well.  I’ve been doing it almost every weekday morning for the past 3 weeks.